How to Tell School My Child Has Cancer

It’s important to let your child’s school know about their cancer diagnosis and treatment. School staff can support your child/children, and make special arrangements with their assessments at this challenging time.

Why tell the school/s?

Your child may be absent from school while they are having treatment or may be attending from time to time when they feel up to it. If they know what’s happening, your child’s teachers and school staff can support them and also help you organise the academic support your child needs during their treatment and when they are returning to school.

Other children (siblings of your child with cancer) may also experience difficulties at school. They may have trouble concentrating or be unable to complete their homework because of their worries, or extra responsibilities at home. When the school is aware of your situation, teachers and other staff members will be more supportive, understanding of any behaviour changes and grant extensions or organise special provisions for assessment and exams – which can be particularly important if your child is in the final years of high school.

Discuss with your child first

It’s common for children to not want extra attention, or to be worried about how people at school (teachers and students) will treat them if they know about their (or their sibling’s) cancer. Before you inform their school, talk to them about how it will help them. Discuss who to tell, how you will notify school, and how much information to share. 

How (and what) to tell the school

• Generally, the first step is to contact the principal advising them of the situation, and identifying the teachers who should be notified.

• You may also want to directly contact your child’s teacher/s, wellbeing/year coordinator, or the school counsellor.

• If you would prefer the whole school community doesn’t know, ask the principal or teachers to maintain your family’s privacy.

• Choose a key contact – like your child’s home room teacher, or the counsellor – so you only have to communicate with one person, and they pass on information to the other people you’ve agreed to advise. It’s good to agree on one person who your child can talk to too (ask your child who they want that to be), so they don’t get overwhelmed with questions from lots of teachers and staff members.

• Let relevant staff know what you have told your child/children about the cancer (and if they’re younger, how you explained what cancer is) so they can respond consistently. Ask that they don’t probe or constantly ask if your child is okay.

• Ask them to keep an eye on your child and let you know of any behavioural changes, or changes in academic performance. Also ask them to be alert to how other children in the school are reacting in case there are any thoughtless comments.

How school can support your child

• Discuss with the school staff how your child and the class can stay in touch when your child/children will be away from school.

• Discuss with your child how they would like to school to support them, what their individual needs are.

• Your child may want to tell their class for different reasons, such as being prepared for any physical changes (e.g. hair loss), following cancer treatment. If so, a teacher must be present to support them through that talk. Camp Quality Puppet Shows (Cancer Education Program) are a wonderful way for these concepts to be introduced to a school community before/when a child returns to preschool/primary school, and include resources for classrooms.

• Discuss with the school how your child is feeling (e.g. any tiredness, loss of concertation/memory etc) and discuss their specific needs and how they can support them.

• For children who will be spending time in hospital, or away from school, ask if it’s possible to link with Hospital Schools; Canteen also has a Robots program that works with schools to use iPad technology to link patients into class.

Further supports/resources

• Finding it hard to break the ice with your child’s school, or not getting the response you expected? Contact the Cancer Hub (1800 431 312) to be linked with a Cancer Hub counsellor or Red Kite social worker, where you can plan and brainstorm communicating with the school.  

• Cancer Council’s book Cancer in the School Community: A guide for staff members explains how the cancer diagnosis of a parent, sibling or other family member can affect a student; how the school can support the student; and helping classmates understand.

• Canteen’s resource A Guide to Canteen: For School Students Impacted by Cancer provides further information for how schools can support students.