Dealing with the fear of recurrence when your partner survived cancer

Now that your partner’s treatment has finished, or finished for now, you both may be feeling a mixed bag of emotions. Common feelings range from relief and joy to anxiety and uncertainty about the future (and often all at once). 

It is also very common for cancer patient survivors and their partners to feel anxious or frightened about the cancer coming back (recurrence). This fear may come and go over time.

Being aware of your fears

Become aware of the days that might increase your fear or your partner’s fear, such as:

• Anniversaries (of the date they were diagnosed or finished treatment)

• Hearing of other people being diagnosed with cancer

• Experiencing symptoms similar to those she/he had before they were diagnosed with cancer

• Attending the hospital or doctor’s surgery for follow-up appointments

It makes sense that fear could be present at times like this, after so much change and uncertainty. On days like these, try to offer yourself more time for things you enjoy, arrange the support of a trusted friend or family member, or reach out for support from a healthcare professional you trust.

How to support yourself

Some suggestions for supporting yourself with the fear of recurrence and/or helping your partner cope with theirs are:

• Encourage your partner to follow the recommendations in their follow-up plan, including the schedule of appointments and advice about looking after their health and reducing the risk of cancer in the future

• Talk to your partner’s specialist or another member of their treatment team about the risk of recurrence for their type of cancer, and any signs and symptoms to look out for. Ask them how to distinguish normal aches, pain or illness from cancer symptoms, and who is available to ask these questions of into the future (e.g. GP)

• Other services like Cancer Council (13 11 20) can also give you trusted advice

• Working with a counsellor, social worker or psychologist to have a space to talk about your experiences and learn strategies can be useful – that may be available to you through your treatment team, a GP (Mental Health Treatment Plan), or ask us here at Cancer Hub what services are available for you.